I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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