u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
