I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
