i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
