So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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