i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
