It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
