Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
