i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
