Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
