found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
