Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
