I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
