Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
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