Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
