Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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