Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
