i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
