I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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