i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
