i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
