i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
