I want to make a zoo with you.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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