their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
