haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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