PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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