you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
