when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
