ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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