Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
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