I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize