Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
