so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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