Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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