By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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