so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
