yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
