I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
