Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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