i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Randomize
