Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
