I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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