I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Randomize
