she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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