I wanna bring you to show and tell
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
