It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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