I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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