last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Randomize
