my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
