people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
