to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
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