Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
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