dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
