he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
