Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
