Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
