Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
