OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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