youre lurking in front of me
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
