We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
