My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
