Will you blow on my dice?
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize